Friday, September 23, 2016

A Friday potpourri of reptile follies, featuring a dancing major Mitchell and a gaggle of Terrorists ...

Another week ending as a downer and a bummer, with no uplifting column by Moorice in sight ...there goes the chance to enter the weekend on a high. Thanks reptiles, for nothing ...

Meanwhile, the vigilant reptiles maintain a careful watch, and a chance to sink the slipper into those slippery cry-baby gays ...


But at least it provides the pond with the chance to provide a link to Ben Jenkins scribbling for the Graudian, For all his faults, at least Bill Leak has shown us how deranged a plebiscite could get ...

The pond liked it so well it thought an excerpt couldn't hurt ...


Sadly Mr Jenkins, the answer is that there is no answer, only blogging to record the internet idiocy involving serious breaches of Godwin's Law, and "the dross ...published in a dying newspaper, to be disseminated, gratis, at airport lounges the nation over."

Oh Mr Jenkins, please, keep on scribbling ...

Meanwhile, also at the Graudian, Amanda Meade reminded the pond that next Monday will once again be a terribly exciting Order of Lenin day - only three sleeps to go! - and provided this catch-up ...


Now you can find Meade's column in its entirety, but of course her link led to a subscriber paywall block. 

Those who refuse to pay for their daily dose of dross and aren't frequenting an airport lounge today would be better off seeking out the major Mitchell column "Not all in the politicians-media game play by the same rules" if they want to see the comments in situ ... and as Meade promised, the major Mitchell was in full "who's a good cocky" dancing mode ...


Oh it was a free and frank exchange and it made the pond yearn for every day to be a Monday ...


And so on ... the pond loves the smell of roasted reptile, all the more fragrant when the roasting comes from the remaining barking mad right wing readership cultivated by the rag, and now demented and out of control, and assaulting the major Mitchell and his fancy tattletale plumage ...

And now, since this has turned into an episode of Seinfeld and become much ado about dross and nothing, the pond would like to turn to the reptiles of the Terror, still plugging away in the hope of getting Mike Baird to change his mind ...


Baird is now in the delicious situation of backing down, thereby losing what little gloss he has left, or staying the course, and enduring incessant attacks by the reptiles, dedicated as they are to maintaining the slaughter of the dishlickers ...

Meanwhile, Baird continues to lay waste to the inner west, and indulges in fits motorway mania and presides over the ruination of the state, and all the Terrorists can worry about is the need to go on killing the dishlickers ...

It was enough to send the pond off to read the Terrorist editorial on the subject, and what a nauseating example of special pleading it turned out to be ...


Was it the creepy crawling - "the premier is still the nation's best retail politician" - or the threat contained in the suggestion that he needs to fall into line or else ...

Well one thing led to another, and the pond can never get enough nausea, so we lifted our eyes to the editorial about bludgers that was sitting atop the pleading for the chance to go on killing the doggies ... the subject was, in the usual Terrorist way, the bludgers ...


There's more, for those masochists inclined to google, and the righteousness is suitably nauseating, but the pond wanted particularly to note that line about education, and then that concluding completely nonsensical and illiterate line, well worth the repetition:

It can be done and it has been done. The only remaining step now is to do it.

It was like reading Churchill on quaaludes - steady, children, that's a sedative and hypnotic medication ...


But when scribbling about one mindless valley of nothing, one thing leads to another mindless valley, and so that talk of victimhood and blame reminded the pond of another bit of Terrorist nonsense ...



It was celebrated by Josh Taylor at Crikey here only a few days ago...


Naturally there was a capper to the yarn ...


The pond has no idea how the reptiles sleep soundly at night, but not only did they fuck it up, they wanted people to pay to read how they'd fucked it up ...



A premium article?

Alice, the pond is ready for that rabbit hole ...

A correspondent thoughtfully provided the pond with a link to a Graudian take on the story, Father furious after daughter labelled 'Aussie bludger' by News Corp tabloid ...

Somehow it reminded the pond of Winston Churchill's wonderful line about quality journalism:

It can be done and it has been done. The only remaining step now is to do it.

And now, speaking of the unemployed, there's just time for a Pope cartoon, and as always, more papal infallibility of the rewarding kind here ...





10 comments:

  1. Hey Dorothy, NZ subbies strike again. This time they've moved the Melbourne CBD to the far outer suburbs. Facebook link to screencaps of conflicting homepage lede and actual story are here: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154623788801579&id=534256578

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) They can have a job anytime at the pond provided they agree Penrith is in the inner west and are willing to move to Mulgrave to prove it ...

      Delete
  2. 500 jobs in 50 days? And then what?

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Telegraph is beyond pathetic!

    So they'd rather admit to being duped by a couple of teens than admit to being simply lazy slackers themselves.

    Abject incompetence.

    They should still be sued.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Dorothy,

    Great to see that the Peace Prize at this years Ig-Nobel awards was the group that brought us the sublime "On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit".

    https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/sep/22/ig-nobel-prizes-trousers-for-rats-and

    http://journal.sjdm.org/15/15923a/jdm15923a.html

    In the final discussion is what could be the perfect description of a Limited News imbiber;

    "Those more receptive to bullshit are less reflective, lower in cognitive ability (i.e., verbal and fluid intelligence, numeracy), are more prone to ontological confusions and conspiratorial ideation, are more likely to hold religious and paranormal beliefs, and are more likely to endorse complementary and alternative medicine."

    Scientifically proven!

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But DW, why hasn't the Bolter been awarded a $10tn Zimbabwean bill for his work on climate science?

      Delete
    2. How do you know he hasn't, DP ? Would he hasten to tell us of his great good fortune ?

      Delete
  5. $1 500 for each greyhound? An enormous boost for the breeding industry and the interstate movement of many, many more. Beware the Cobra Effect.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cobra_effect

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The pond will take a cobra over a Baird any day of the week, even without benefit of Rikki-Tikki-Tavi or a dishlicker as a companion ...

      Delete

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