Thursday, October 12, 2017

In which the savvy Savva celebrates barking mad idiots ...



The pond was deeply disturbed.

Each Thursday, being deeply conservative and in love with ritual and tradition, the pond would turn to the savvy Savva expecting word direct from Malware's desk on the state of things, and perhaps some hagiographic excess devoted to his latest wondrous policy initiatives or strategic political thrusts and parries.

What on earth could talk of the tiring Xen offer as he retreats to his crow-eater lair?


Phew, that's a relief. As a status report, it's tremendously reassuring.

The masterly Malware mob, hard and tough like a gunnery sergeant in a Kubrick movie - oh what manly men they are, even Julie and certainly Mitch - screwed the Xen and now they reckon they'll be able to screw the kerosene seller ...

Not long after, while still in primary school, I grew more ambitious and sold, for those of you who are a little bit older, kerosene door to door. I would buy a 44-gallon drum of kero wholesale and sell it for retail prices. What I would do was pour some of it into smaller cans and balance the cans on the handlebars of my purple dragster—I still miss that bike—as I rode around my neighborhood, smelling for the distinctive scent of a kero heater to make a sale. I actually smelt more of kero than the kero in the cans, I have to say. That was a very different time. A child today would never be allowed to do the same because it breaks so many laws, but, in any event, I would have been under the age of criminal responsibility—thankfully! (here, first speech time)

Ah that reminds the pond of its own childhood ...



But then came the good news ... the pond had hoped - no wait, it knew deep in its heart - that the savvy Savva couldn't resist slagging off the onion muncher ...and so she turned from the tiring Xen to talk of the crude provocateur ...



Hello Sir Prince? Regular emissions?

And the pond's favourite descriptor, "barking mad"?

There are a couple of stories which link 'barking mad' with the east London suburb of Barking. One is that the phrase owes its origin to a medieval asylum for the insane which was part of Barking Abbey. The second story isn't a suggested origin, just a neat 1980s joke at the expense of Margaret Thatcher. She was known by those who disliked her as 'Daggers' Thatcher - not from a reputation for stabbing colleagues in the back, but because she was said to be 'three stops past Barking' [Dagenham is three stations beyond Barking on the London Underground]. 
The problem with the asylum tale is the date - it is far too early. 'Barking mad' isn't medieval and began to appear in the language only around the beginning of the 20th century. (here for the rest)


At this point, the pond wondered whether it was the onion muncher or the reptiles themselves that had caused this deep exasperation, speaking of big bangs in the media.

This last week has been a rich exercise in giving the barking mad hounds an outing by the big banging reptiles. 

First came that provocative speech, covered in loving detail, and Moorice was let off the leash  and Adam was sent out to make mischief...


This was such a blatant troll that it easily lured Malware on to the hook and in to a story by the Klan...


Loopy? Idiocy from an idiot?

The reptiles had set Malware up for a punch line ...



Stand clear onion muncher, we have a new slogan king ...

And then after all the fuss, the reptiles could pretend today that nothing had happened ...



Talk about knowing how to pour kerosene on troubled, mosquito riddled tank water ...

And now it's back to the savvy Savva for a final burst of "steady as she goes" line ... with minor parties and personalities falling like flies, and the big two emerging as likely winners ...



Punters will treat that last gobbet as a "keeper", just to check out how savvy the Savva actually is when it comes to political punditry and predicting outcomes ...

As for the pond, it will miss Malware when he's gone ... he's so on the nose you could use the smell as a sure way to sell kerosene ... and so, the pond suspects, will the cartoonists, not least the Pope, who produced another beautiful encyclical this day, with more Pope here ...



1 comment:

  1. The Klan: "...two of the nation's most renowned economic reformwers"

    Fred Hilmer and Gary Banks are "renowned" ? For what ? An 'always wannabee' management consultant and failed media and university supremo and the long forgotten chief econorat of 'productivity' ? Neither of whom, most fittingly, has been heard of, or from, in years.

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